The concept of dating strangers via an app is something that some Indians aren’t really comfortable with. The idea of discussing things with a stranger doesn’t go well with many, hence, apps like Tinder and Truly Madly are sometimes looked down upon.
But that doesn’t mean that people don’t swipe right and left in India. People do that. And in fact, nobody’s complaining.
Same is the story of this girl who recently shared her Tinder experience on Quora and opened up about hooking up had a therapeutic effect on her.
Yes. I’m an attractive Indian girl. And I’ve slept with a man I met on tinder. Twice ( With the same man of course )
“Lucky man” is what you’d say? I’d call myself lucky. Here’s why :
Having broken up recently after a serious 3 year relationship, I felt the need to go out and meet new people to overcome the grief of a broken heart. Hence, I started experimenting on tinder. I had a 100% match rate.(Not kidding) Big confidence booster after being abandoned in a relationship.
I didn’t respond to most chat conversations due to upcoming exams. Just when I got done with exams, one guy that I had matched with a week ago messaged me. I was free, so decided to try chatting. What unfurled was a string of bizarre coincidences. Turned out that he lived in my building, spoke the same native language as me, was from my ex’s college, was a start up CEO who had cofounded his company with my ex’s best friend. Quickly we ended up chatting for a whole week and then decided to meet down for a walk. The meeting was an absolute surprise for me. Contrary to his nerdy tinder profile photo, he was extremely attractive, tall and well built. Woot woot! I quickly turned into a teenage girl having a major crush based on physical appearance only. ( I have a huge thing for tall ) suddenly I was asking – Who ex? 😉
What I liked the most about this tinder guy was his unapologetic and unabashed stance about being a man whore. He was in a serious 4 year relationship, post which he slept with 12-13 women in a span of 12 months. That’s a new woman every month! He’s had around 50-60 matches on tinder which, from what I hear is an exceptional hit rate for a man. He smoked, he did drugs, was a womanizer. He was the perfect example of my worst possible date. But that meant that I’d never fall for a guy like that. Ever. Which made him the perfect choice for a hookup. I’ve never been a hookup person. The only guy I had ever slept with was my ex because I thought I would marry him. But in that state of emotional despair, I decided that I wanted to sleep with that man, that I would never see him again after that, that it would be the one wrong thing that I chose to do.. I was getting tired of being the perfect girl anyway. So we had sex. Best night of my life. But turned out, he’s not as much of a dick as he wanted to be. He was really sweet and caring too. He still continued talking to me on chat and we ended up sleeping together once more. That was it. That was when I realized that I can’t separate the physical and the emotional chords in my brain/heart. Women just aren’t wired that way. I knew I’d fall for him if we continued talking like we did with all that physical intimacy. And I knew I couldn’t fall for him cos he was the “bad guy”. And so, we stopped talking. It was tough, but we did.
How has it benefitted me? I do feel guilty about having had sex with a stranger, but it saved me from immense grief and despair. It gave me excitement during the darkest phase of my life. It taught me that I could feel butterflies in the stomach again. It showed me that there are very attractive, smart men out there and that I can do better than my ex.
So, to the smoking man-whore, thank you for everything! I still secretly hope that we could be more, but that’d possibly be highly toxic for me.
And thus ended my tryst with the man and tinder too. Never to see them both again.