It is very important that you ensure that you are grieving in a healthy way after you lose a loved one. It can be all too easy to turn towards self-destructive tendencies. The goal with these tendencies is not to heal; it is to hurt worse so that you have something to distract you from the fact that they are no longer there with you. Unhealthy grieving hurts you physically, mentally, and emotionally. It does not let you move forward; it does not let you breathe.
You owe it to yourself and your loved one to use healthier coping mechanisms so that one day, you can look back on them fondly without feeling like you are drowning. It is a long process, but this guide is the perfect way to get started.
Find a Quiet, Mindful Place for Your Loved One
If you are the one who decides where your loved one is set to be buried or interned, you will want to choose a place that helps you feel peaceful and even mindful. If you don’t feel that in a cemetery, then choose somewhere else that holds more meaning to your loved one and that everyone can go to. If your loved one had a favorite spot in nature, you can scatter their ashes there or alternatively can bury their urns for ashes there. The point is that when you need to feel closer to them and go to visit, you should immediately calm down. To calm down, you need to feel calm, peaceful, and relaxed in the environment.
Planning such a funeral or memorial service is also an excellent way to gain closure and start the healing process, so the benefits are two-fold.
Be Strict with Your Health and Hygiene
One of the worst slopes to fall off is to stop taking care of yourself. Not eating well, not caring about your appearance – all of this combines and makes your grief worse because you feel horrible physically as well as emotionally. Simply taking care of yourself can be very difficult, but it is the best way to limit your pain to grief only rather than compound it with other physiological concerns.
Most of all, however, it gives you a routine that makes you feel better, at least physically.
Don’t Isolate Yourself
Isolating yourself hurts you. You need to spend time with others, especially your other loved ones. If you worry that you are not processing your grief properly and seem to be dumping everything on your friends, then seeking out professional help is another excellent connection you can make. Whatever you do and whatever you choose, aim not to be alone. Strengthening your bonds with others will help you share the weight of your grief and help you make the slow but steady steps forward.
Take it One Day at a Time
Everyone grieves differently. Everyone takes their own time. Some may be able to move on from their grief completely and be able to think back on their loved one fondly without it hurting; others may carry that scar for their lives. What is important is that you care for yourself, and you give yourself new things to love and care for because you deserve to live your life to its fullest.
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