Where there are two people, there will always be conflict. Every day we have to face arguments with different people, because the more social roles you play, the more opposite points of view you see. While standing our ground before the opponent, we start an utter psychological clash which often results in serious psychic injuries. But do we really need such an outcome?
Getzkick brings you several effective moves of ’psychological aikido’ – the means of solving any problem without a fight.
-The psychological aikido resembles balancing on a ball — balancing before aggression. Giving in, you stand the trial, as they say in the East. Give in to weaken the resistance, teach the Buddhists.
>Do not fight, for you inevitably become that which you fight against. Too much power leads to the opposite result.
Learn to be led to lead others.
>The one who shouts at you is in the affective state, which means their conscience is off. It’s laughable to try talking to a person with their mind turned off. It’s the same thing as talking to someone who is asleep. Have you ever seen anyone shouting at another person in a good mood?
>Shouting in return is similar to beating a drowning person with a paddle. He or she is actually drowning — in their own rage. So don’t help them in that.
>What do we do when we feel bad? We accuse, scream, and cry. That’s why, when someone is shouting at us, he or she is actually feeling bad.
>Do you know how to put a stop to their screaming? Keep silent and let them simmer down. Don’t listen to their words, it’s only their pain crying. And how to keep a straight face? By mentally praising yourself. ’What a talent I am! I can keep calm even with such a person!’ Simple silence has the effect of cold water. While your opponent’s roaring, you look at him or her attentively and listen. Let them cool off.
Giving in and keeping silent when you want so much to prove your point may be a truly tough task, but it’s sure worth it. If one party to the conflict acts wisely, then everyone present feels calmer. Therefore, we suggest you try to master the art of psychological aikido — that way your own health and the calm of your close ones will be preserved.
Adapted from the book by Michael Litwak
Preview photo credit: isarescheewin / shutterstock