Starting off a new relationship with someone you really enjoy being with is fun, cheerful, exciting and comforting. Yet, no matter how well you manage to complete each other or how deep your feelings are, relationship can get monotonous, tiring, bothersome and sometimes even conflicting with your individuality, personal needs and wants.
The truth is that the initial state of bliss that «wraps» any new relationship is mainly determined by the enthusiasm of novelty. You get to know each other profoundly on multiple aspects of your life or various situations, you come to meet one another’s friends and families, exchange opinions, try out the other’s hobbies, basically you both start painting a pink future together.
No one can deny the power and excitement of discovering another person to the depth of their soul and at the same time, rediscovering yourself in a new relationship.
Still, as time often wears off most things in life, it can radically affect your feelings and interest, your level of connection and your attitude to each other, as well as your desire and willingness to keep things rolling.
The wise couples (you know the ones that most people say «they were meant to be») turn into wine and keep on getting better with age. Yet, lots of relationship fade away after the excitement phase is over and separate themselves like oil and water.
If you want your relationship to have the long life it deserves, have a look at our 10 things to do for a brighter relationship.
1. Have a positive attitude towards life
Everyone wants to be around cheerful people that seize the moment and take the best of everything.
A constant attitude of dissatisfaction, complaining and nagging — attracts negative emotions creating a terrible mood, and implicitly creating bad relationships between people.
Having and keeping a positive attitude towards life makes you a more attractive partner while at the same time, makes you a happier person overall.
2. Love yourself
Your partner doesn’t want to be the object of your sacrifices. He wants you to be happy with him just as much as he wants to feel good with you.
You both need to be pleased and fulfilled with your own individualities in order to be able to draw the same emotions in your relationship. And, more importantly, you need to preserve your own personality above and beyond the things you’re doing to please the other person.
For instance, it’s ok to occasionally wear an outfit they love on you, yet it’s detrimental for both of you to change your style and wardrobe for what the other one likes or hates.
This is the secret of feeding vitality and continual interest in your relationship: preserving your own self while also sharing it to another person.
Do the things that you enjoy separately (practicing your hobbies, seeing your friends, continuing your studies), strive on remaining the fun and wonderful person you were when you met, and altogether continue investing and improving upon your own self.
3. Pay attention to your partner’s wants and needs
Men and women are different and inherently share different perspectives on relationship and what makes them happy in life. Acting controlling and trying to change your lover around to like the things that you do and undertake the actions and reactions you see as righteous — is an instant major turnoff for your partner and extremely frustrating for you.
You need to acknowledge that your partner is neither your loyal reflection nor your possession. It is only natural that your other half wants different things and has separate needs from you. Can you accept them? Can you fulfill some? If so, then act accordingly. If not, be honest about it and see where things go from there.
4. Show admiration and gratitude
If you are in a relationship with someone — it goes without saying that you appreciate them for a series of qualities, the way they treat you, how they make you feel etc.
The key here is to REMIND your partner CONSTANTLY just how much you admire the things he/she does for you and the way those makes you feel.
5. Be careful with words
«Words cut deeper than swords» is more than just an idiom. It is a universally valid truth.
You cannot take back an offense, an insult, a humiliation, a lie or any verbal abuse. No matter how much you’ll excuse yourself after the storm has passed. It will irreversible linger in the back of your partner’s head and «scar» her/his feelings or opinions about you.
6. Show respect
Any kind of healthy relationship needs to be built on mutual respect.
Respect is multi-leveled and shows that you have common-sense and value the person for what they are and stand for.
Therefore, you need to respect them verbally (see item 5), you need to respect their opinions and decision even when you don’t agree with them, you need to respect their friends and family even if sometimes it’s just for the single reason that «they come with the package».
7. Be emphatic
We all go through stressful periods, have bad days and lazy moments and get affected by various factors which alter our spirits and self-worth. Having someone besides you who accentuates your awful mood rather than ameliorating it — is even worse.
So, try to cheer up your other half when they’re down, accept that your partner might be upset by something that does not impinge on you (and vice-versa) and show them compassion. Bear in mind that once in a while, we all need some time alone.
8. Make memories together
There is nothing that brings you two closer than going through happy, adventurous and also less joyful experiences together. Try to make an effort towards taking some trips, lessons (dance/music), doing whatever you find exciting and fun (scuba-diving, camping, participating in a contest) as long as you do them TOGETHER.
Take a lot of pictures and souvenirs to reinforce your good times and to remember that blissfulness, if and when things become tedious.
9. Fight routine
Sometimes, life just seems too demanding and tiring to find the time, patience and will to fight daily routine. Still, as I said previously, memories are what make your connection deeper and more meaningful. Sitting in front of the TV the whole afternoon and ordering dinner every evening is not too much of an experience.
You need to invest personal and external resources to bring quality and diversity in your life and relationship.
Make an effort to surprise your partner with something small, regularly. Try to bring some novelty in the relationship as often as you can.
10. Spice up your love life
Routine is again a turnoff when it comes to your most intimate moments. Once again, being adventurous and open to trying new things can make a huge difference.
You need to constantly find new ways to appeal to your partner’s senses and outreach his or her desires.
Try new positions and / or locations, anticipate the moment (through messages, notes, phone calls) and value foreplay in order to relate at a deeper emotional level. Dare to dive into each other’s fantasies and be that person that he or she never had and never wants to leave.
There’s nothing wildly spectacular about the pieces of advice shared throughout the article yet that’s precisely the reason why they work — always! They fit with any person and any type of personality, it’s what people in successful relationship do, and what keeps them in those relationships.
So, are you ready to brighten your relationship with these 10 easy and natural things?
Author: Kyle C
Preview photo credit: Fabio Astone